If someone you care about is struggling with a craving or has just had a lapse, knowing what to do — and what not to do — matters. The right kind of support can help. The wrong kind, even when well-intentioned, can make things harder.
When someone is in a craving right now
- Be present without pressure. Sit nearby, walk with them, or stay on the phone.
- Keep your voice calm and offer one practical thing: water, food, a walk or a simple task together.
- Try “I'm here. We can just sit for a bit,” rather than asking them to reassure you.
- Do not debate, bargain or try to win the argument with reasons for stopping. Focus on getting through the moment.
Cravings can change over a short period of time, especially when the person has company and a simple next step. Your job is not to solve the craving — it is to create time and space without taking over.
After the craving has passed
- Acknowledge the difficulty: “That looked hard. You came through it.”
- Ask what was helpful rather than telling them what they should do next time.
- Keep the conversation brief if they need space.
- Avoid assigning blame for what triggered it.
After a lapse
A harsh reaction can add shame and make it harder for someone to ask for help. Aim for calm, safety and honesty.
- Say: “I'm glad you told me,” or “I'm here.”
- Ask: “What do you need right now?”
- Avoid disappointment, lectures and immediate solutions.
- If there are safety concerns, do not try to manage them alone: seek medical or emergency help.
Support is not control
- Avoid surveillance, searching, constant checking or threats in a crisis moment.
- Set legitimate boundaries when things are calm, not as a way to control someone in distress.
- Do not take responsibility for another person's recovery plan.
- Get support for yourself too. A trusted friend, therapist or family peer group can help.
For a private tool the person can use themselves, share this cravings guide or point them to R2R Right Now.
Sources and further reading
Safety note: If someone has consumed a large amount, is unresponsive, or there is a risk to life, call emergency services rather than relying on self-help guidance. Alcohol poisoning and overdose are medical emergencies.